Tuesday, 24 April 2012

One step forward and two steps back..


So it’s been a month since my last post, and to be honest, that’s because of how frustrated I have been as well as busy. 

After 2nd appointment with Michelle in the Behavioural Unit, she had seen some of Freyja’s behaviours, but really she had been pretty good, and didn’t argue with me (until one minute after we left the office – sigh!), but a few days later we had the appointment with the Paediatrician and she was herself for that – oh boy, was she!

After an hour of trying to hold a conversation with her, and Lee and I, while she jumped up on the bed, and off, and on, and off (repeat as necessary for one full hour), swung her feet over the edge of it so she kept “accidentally” kicking his computer monitor, and declaring repeatedly over the top of his questions “sigh!  I’m BORED!!!” he got the idea and agreed, Yes, she’s ADHD.  Despite the repeated jumping about, he says she veers more to the Attention Deficit side than the hyperactive side. 

So he offered us medication, and to be honest, we nearly snapped his hand off to get it.  2 days later, we had the prescription and she started taking 20mgs of Vyvanse each morning.  Vyvanse is an amphetamine but its slow release and in such a low dosage, it basically just gives them enough to sharpen their focus.

The first day, she was wired, talked for about 6 hours non-stop, but never argued, did what she was asked to do and was super helpful all day.  Day Two, she woke up at 3.30am and never went back to sleep, so neither did I.  Rosie woke up at 6am with a fever, so the day was spent with a tired Mama and a grouchy baby sister.  But never once did she complain I was ignoring her and giving all the attention to Rosie or say she was bored while I cleaned house.  Instead she occupied Rosie and kept her smiling while I cleaned.  Went and got them both snacks and drinks.  Was the girl I knew she wants to be.

It lasted about ten days.  It was the best week ever!  No arguments, no whining, no fussing (well the usual stuff but like any kid does, not like an ADHD kid does.  Then, as her body must have adjusted to the medication we noticed she was getting more irritable again, more argumentative, coming back from school complaining she hadn’t had time to finish things again.  At first I thought it might be caused by excitement about her pending birthday and party, but that came and went and still she was getting worse.

If anything, she is worse now than ever.  For 5 nights in a row, I had to cajole, argue, carry, shout her into bed through 45-60 minutes of arguing and whining, shouting and screaming, hitting and kicking.  I just about broke down.  The thing that made me feel worse than anything is that she is the one getting the most hurt by all of this.  She hates the way she acts, she hates that she can’t concentrate.  She hates that she had a ten day glimpse of what it is like to be “normal” and then ended up back to the same thing as always again.

We have another appointment with Michelle in the Behaviour Unit in 2 days, and then with the doc in 10 days.  I am trying to get snap forms filled out by her teacher and her day home to try to get the dosage increased.  We know it worked; just it’s not enough for her.  My last appointment with Michelle, Freyja had to come and read a book to Michelle.  After reading some pages, she had to say if the things in the page described her or not.  After a 10 minute ramble about one page, Michelle asks “Is she always like this?”  “No, this is better than normal” I reply.  After I get a confused look as to how this could possibly be better, I tell her it is because, even though she has just spent 10 minutes talking about something where 3 or 4 words would have done, at least she is still discussing the same subject.  In the past we would have been way off on a tangent by then.  Michelle then asked me if Freyja had taken her meds that morning.  Yep, at 7.30am, same as every day.  It is now 9.30am.  Michelle tells me that if the meds were working, she would expect Freyja to be significantly more focused.  We both try to stop Freyja talking as it is nearly the end of the appointment and she is still rambling on over the top of us.  She has a tantrum and goes and sits in a corner, squashed in the space between the wall and a cabinet and refuses to come out. BINGO!!!  Finally, a little glimpse of what she is like when she is getting the wrong answer (that would be NO by the way) from me.

So, keeping my fingers crossed that the dosage is increased ASAP.  Poor kid thought all she would have to do is go to the doctors, have them agree it was ADHD and get a pill so that, boom, she’d be all better.  She never expected all these appointments and forms and questions.  She never expected it to take time, and it is so frustrating for her that it is making her even angrier.  And I hate to admit; I am not dealing with it well.  I have my Bad Mommy days, and I have lost count in the past two weeks of how many times she has said she hates me, but I am determined to get her through this.

It is only now that I am going through this that I have realised just how many friends or acquaintances are going through similar issues with their kids.  ADHD, OCD, ODD, Autism, Asperger’s, the list seems to be endless.  I know I am not alone, and that helps, but why are so many of us going through this these days?  Is it just because there is more diagnosis, or is it because there really are more kids going through these trials and tribulations?  Either way, I am glad to know that there is help out there for us, maybe not a quick fix that Freyja would like, but a way forward.  Just gotta keep holding onto that, and remember those 10 wonderful days with a little girl who was happy and focused and who knew she was loved, and hope that we can get back there again.

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